Let them eat cake...really

Here's something to make your life better. 

Angel food cake for breakfast is basically like eating an egg white omelet. 

Okay, not exactly, I suppose. If we were going to quibble, it's like eating an egg white omelet with a cup of sugar dusted over the top. Nevertheless, we're talking health food. If you were on the phone chatting with someone who cares whether you live or die, and you told them you’d eaten an egg white omelet for breakfast...cheers all around. Of course, they might be puzzled if you told them the egg white omelet came with raspberries on top and a drizzle of cream, so you should probably leave that part out. 

That's another important tip. Sometimes what you say is not nearly as important as what you decide to leave out. 

I'm not saying you should hide anything from your loved ones. Trying to lead a transparent life is a significant stress-reducer. As Sam Rayburn once said, “I always tell the truth, because I'm not smart enough to keep track of what lies I told.” And, as life in Washington shows us, our politicians are no better at keeping track of their lies than they were in Sam’s day. 

No, what I'm saying is that if in the middle of a busy day, a day with no left-overs in the fridge, a bacon and cheese sandwich for lunch seems like the quickest way to refuel, what's the point in starting a conversation about your choices? The cholesterol ship sailed as soon as the bacon had cooked to the point that bacon smells started to waft through the kitchen. No one alive could reach for the cottage cheese under those conditions. And even if you could, imagine what switching luncheon plans from bacon to cottage cheese would do to your blood pressure. 

I have other nutrition tips for you. Let's say you're going into a coffee shop because you need a shot of caffeine to stay at maximum productivity. If you need to park a block or more away, you should probably get an almond croissant, just to keep your blood sugar from dropping to dangerous lows on the trek back to your pickup. 

Another situation where a certain amount of discretion is useful is portion control. If you read food labels, it's easy to see that calories per serving always seem very reasonable. However, if you are silly enough to read further, you'll see that the suggested serving size is unrealistic. I mean, really. Who thinks a cup of popcorn is a serving size? I eat a cup of popcorn out of the bowl on the trip to my recliner. Speaking of popcorn, the calorie count doesn't need to include the butter or Dots. Dots and butter in popcorn are like...pepper on mashed potatoes. It's just seasoning, people. 

I'm writing about food because Thanksgiving is coming up, and you need to be ready. A holiday is no reason to engage in thoughtless eating. For instance, canned and processed food is bad for you, so give those gooey, canned cranberries a pass. If you skip the cranberries, you can have an extra dollop of whipped cream on the pumpkin pie. After all, pumpkin is a vegetable and whipped cream is, you know, organic. 

You're welcome. 

Copyright 2023 Brent Olson