Ricardo

There's trouble in the chicken corral; Ricardo's in solitary confinement.

He's had plenty of chances...I've talked this over with him several times and his behavior is just unacceptable.

We have a dozen hens out in the orchard, enough to keep our entire family egged up, and a few spares besides. It's a pretty good life for a chicken. I lock them up every night in a predator-proof coop, and during the day they wander the orchard, eating bugs and taking dust baths. Since the plan isn't to make money, we don't replace the chickens every eighteen months like a commercial operation would. Instead, we just buy a few chicks every now and then to keep the numbers about right. We don't ask questions about which chicken is laying eggs or which ones have moved into assisted living. Less chicken soup, but less trauma as well.

Placid might be a word I'd use.

But then, Ricardo.

I'm not exactly sure how Ricardo ended up at our place, but that's the case with almost all our animals. Kindhearted family and my tendency to say, “Sure, we have room for one more,” has led to some interesting additions to our menagerie. So, even though we didn't really need a rooster, Ricardo moved in.

I have to admit that aesthetically, he's a fine addition. He's a good-looking rooster and he knows it. Useless, but good-looking.

Truthfully, being useless isn't a deal killer for animals on our farm, so Ricardo was welcomed.

Then springtime arrived and a young rooster's mind turned to thoughts of...not love, but lust.

Once again, I saw this as not my problem. One of my fervent desires is not to interfere in others’ lives.

But Ricardo was so mean. He'd leap on the back of a hen and literally claw her feathers away. Half of the hens now have big bare patches on their backs and Ricardo shows no signs of slowing down.

I looked online for advice and found it was a common problem. One of the solutions was to get little coats – technically called saddles - for the hens to protect themselves.

Is that the patriarchy in action, or not?

Let's recap. The male is acting in an unacceptable way, hurting and damaging the females, and the suggested solution is for the females to dress in a way that protects them from the male, so he doesn't have to suffer any consequences or change his behavior.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend whose elderly mother was nearly to the point of being evicted from her assisted living facility because her behavior was so difficult. I listened sympathetically, but then said, “I gotta tell you, a woman that age must have so much suppressed rage, it's bound to start leaking out.”

I gave Ricardo one more chance to clean up his act and when he failed to do, I chucked him into an unused section of the coop. I'll let everyone heal up and then give him a second chance. He's still safe from chicken soup, but the quality of his social life going forward is entirely going to be determined by his behavior.

Take that, patriarchy.

Copyright 2025 Brent Olso

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