My sister stayed with us for a few days, so on a pass through the grocery store I picked up some breakfast sausages, a brand new to me. So, artisan sausages…a treat for her, no doubt.
They were not a resounding success. I believe the phrase settled on by the people in the house, at least those with taste buds, was, “…salted grease gut bombs.”
I was a little grumpy by the judgement. “I bought these just because you were here,” I said. “If I were eating breakfast alone, I would’ve soaked a piece of chocolate angel food cake in milk and had that with three cups of coffee.”
That earned me a look, but then the conversation shifted to what would be done with the several left-over sausages, of which the number was “all.”
I said, “If no one’s home, I’ll probably just stuff them between a couple slices of bread and have them for lunch.”
I got another look.
My wife retired about a year ago and the only downside to the decision, as far as I’m concerned, is that there are witnesses to my eating habits. When she was working, I almost always ate breakfast and lunch alone. If she happened to comment on an odd assortment of missing leftovers – and I sensed judgement in her tone - I always blamed the dog.
Here’s the thing. It’s not that I can’t cook. I ran a café for five years and in all that time I didn’t kill anyone.
At least…no convictions.
So, even though I do have some skills, noon on a working day is no time to be using them. I think lunch time cooking isn’t so much an art as it is “I’m on empty, fill ‘er up.”
It’s sort of my specialty.
I’m a fan of those boxed mixes that are supposed to taste like you’re in New Orleans. They call for adding a pound of andouille sausage or fresh shrimp, but I’ve discovered that if you add some red pepper flakes, you can use pretty much any kind of meat – you’re not going to taste it anyway. Add an extra cup of rice to the mix and you have lunch for most of the week.
Another cooking tip – after five minutes in a frying pan, you can slap almost anything between two pieces of bread and call it lunch.
I sometimes like a little something sweet after lunch. That’s often a problem because we very seldom have any cake, cookies, or ice cream around the place. But if I have enough time, I can usually find where my wife hid the baking chocolate. My theory is that if I only take half of it at a time, she’ll never notice.
It’s not a perfect theory.
Many people, decent people, eat salads for lunch. I’ve got nothing for those people. Lettuce in a BLT is a fine addition to the alphabet, but remember my “I’m on empty, fell ‘er up” analogy? It would take about a bushel of lettuce to move my needle to “Full,” and that amount would require 17,000 calories worth of ranch dressing.
I have other tips, but I’m saving them for the cookbook. I like the title, “I’m on Empty, Fill ‘er Up.”
In an attempt to lose a pound or 23, I’ve been cutting back on carbs. That’s difficult because of a lifetime habit of throwing something, anything, between two slabs of bread and calling it lunch. I could use that cookbook.
Just concluded a four-day road trip with an old buddy, taking lunches and dinners out of a solid red cooler. Our main issue was finding those light-a-sack charcoals are the same cost as a whole bag of brickettes. But our ribs and steaks were perfect at our state park settings. Two old guys running on late afternoon empty! Take only half at a time, eh? Love it!
Both of my kids come back home for lunch and we totally agree: noon on a working day is no time to use my cooking skills! We aim for "fast filling creativity"!
Imagine if we were living alone and had to eat all our meals in solitary confinement...good thing our spouses are available for companionship and coaching!
One of my favorites growing up was 'sugar sandwich' Two pieces of homemade bread buttered with homemade butter sprinkled with sugar. For dessert use brown sugar.
I'm on empty, fill 'er up.
In an attempt to lose a pound or 23, I’ve been cutting back on carbs. That’s difficult because of a lifetime habit of throwing something, anything, between two slabs of bread and calling it lunch. I could use that cookbook.
Just concluded a four-day road trip with an old buddy, taking lunches and dinners out of a solid red cooler. Our main issue was finding those light-a-sack charcoals are the same cost as a whole bag of brickettes. But our ribs and steaks were perfect at our state park settings. Two old guys running on late afternoon empty! Take only half at a time, eh? Love it!
Both of my kids come back home for lunch and we totally agree: noon on a working day is no time to use my cooking skills! We aim for "fast filling creativity"!
Imagine if we were living alone and had to eat all our meals in solitary confinement...good thing our spouses are available for companionship and coaching!
One of my favorites growing up was 'sugar sandwich' Two pieces of homemade bread buttered with homemade butter sprinkled with sugar. For dessert use brown sugar.
You made me laugh, thank you. I must admit you have very valid points.
Joe just asked me if I’d like some artisanal sausage for breakfast. This one may follow you for awhile…like the rest of your life.
❤️